Assman

(All right, lets do it)
Assman! Yeah hes an assman! Yeeaaah

I was walkin round downtown the other day
With a buddy o' mine
When we came across one o them model-type gals
You know the ones - 511,
About 86 pounds soakin wet
My buddys oooin and aaaahin
"Did you get a load of her Travis! Man she is fine!"
All I could think was - How the hell does she keep them pants up

CHORUS:

Some guys go crazy
About them bee-stung lips
Some fellas go wild when they see some skinny hips
Plenty more go ga-ga over some big ole honkin tits
But me Im an Assman
Yeah Im an Assman

VERSE II

So I looked at my buddy and I said
Aw hell, you know me! Ill do a rattlesnake if you hold its head
I just wouldnt know where to start with that gal over there
I mean, should I buy er a drink or just offer her a rice cake

CHORUS

Some guys go crazy
About them bee-stung lips
Some fellas get wild when they see some skinny hips
Plenty more go ga-ga over some big ole honkin tits
Not me - Im an Assman
Yeah Im an Assman

What is about them cakes, makes me start to sing
Maybe cuz they look just like jello on a spring
Columbus knew it long ago
The world aint flat its round
I need a sweet badonkadonk to send me heaven-bound

(SPOKEN)
Yeah its a funny thing about this country
Yeah - Seems to me we like just about everything big.. yknow
Texas, jumbo jets, extra large fries, super size it, Big Gulps, triple decker sandwiches, 50% more FREE!

Yeah it seems we think bigger is better in just about every aspect of life and rightly so
But lets take a look at some of these girls were supposed to be getting all excited about
Paris Hilton? Julia Roberts?! Cameron Noazz??!!
Hell I'll take that J-Lo any day of the week!


Some guys go crazy
About them bee-stung lips
Some fellas get wild when they see some skinny hips
Plenty more go ga-ga over some big ole honkin tits
But me - Im an Assman
Yeah Im an Assman

Come over here honey! Turn around for a second, show me your good side
There you go! Thatll work! Cmon!! Oh thats beautiful, I love it!

(Newscaster)
THIS JUST IN! Men of all races and creeds appreciate the wonders of the well-rounded female posterior

Raj Patel:
Look at this Rami, this woman has the most incredible nitamba that I have
Ever seen! It is truly truly remarkable

Chato Calderon:
Oye Hector! Viste las nalgas allie en la chica que estaba en la esquina Que maravillosa!

Dominic Douchinni:
Did you get a load of that broad over on the corner Unbelievable! You could eat a five-course meal off her ass

Izzy Mandelbaum:
Hey look at that! She reminds me of your mother when I first met her back then, she had a great ass!

Malik Jenkins:
Go on girl, Yeah! With yo big ass! Go on baby, thats what Im talkin about. Yeah. Yeah! Whats yo name girl, whats yo name Yo come over for a second baby, yo yo yo come over over here a second, lemme talk to you for a secondwhats yo name Why you gotta be like that No thats alright girl.I still love you thats alright.